“Happiness isn’t in the future, it’s not somewhere else.
It’s available right inside us, right now, all the time.”
As children, our parents help us with our emotional needs, such as, love,
support, and comfort. We become dependent on this help throughout our
childhood because our parents try their best to provide for all of our
needs the best way they know how.
As we become older and want to gain more independence in our life we begin
to go through different areas of self-reliance and learning about what
it entails. Emotional self-reliance helps us to gain our emotional needs
without depending on others. This does not mean we should not pursue or
find others that give us emotional satisfaction. It simply means we should
be aware of our emotional needs and help ourselves as best as possible
and then seek further help if needed.
Suggestions to help ourselves to become emotionally self-reliant are:
- Finding a way to be grateful when you find yourself complaining.
- Finding a way to give when you find yourself being needy.
- Finding a subject to learn to help you to grow within.
- Take responsibility. If you find yourself blaming others, tell yourself
that the other person is never the problem. You can believe the other
person is the problem, but then you are reliant on them for the solution.
If you believe that they aren’t the problem, then you look inside
yourself for the solution.
- Learn to fix your own problems. If you are bored, fix it. If you are lonely
or hurt, comfort yourself. If you are jealous, don’t hope that someone
will reassure you … reassure yourself.
When we focus on these areas of emotional self-reliance our emotional self
becomes important to us. We believe we can become independent from others
and gain our own happiness not through others but through ourselves. When
we are able to love ourselves and truly be happy with ourselves and our
life we then are able to love those around us and be an asset to those
in need to help them find emotional self-reliance as well.
Read more about Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant by Leo Babaut
Anne K. Carlsen, PCSW, is a counselor at the Campbell County Medical Group
Kid Clinic, a school-based pediatric clinic offering medical care and counseling
services for Campbell County students in pre-kindergarten through 12th
grade and their siblings ages 2 weeks and up. It is located at 800 Butler
Spaeth Rd., across from St. Matthew’s Catholic Church. The Kid Clinic
is open Monday-Friday from 8 am-5 pm. For more information, call 307-688-8700 or visit
www.cchwyo.org/kidclinic. The Kid Clinic is a collaborative effort between Campbell County Health and
Campbell County School District.